First Time for: Waffles from a Spray Can

My lovely and talented daughter, Roxie, has been on the planet for just over 13 months now, and she has already had a lot of cool firsts: her first steps (at 10 months), her first words (“apple”, “dada”), and her first birthday (complete with a giant pink cupcake). What’s really cool, though, is that there are tons of things she has yet to experience, which means she is poised to have, quite literally, a first time for nearly everything.

As a responsible parent, there are lots of firsts I hope to encourage ­– first day of school, first job, first million – but with nearly everything on the table as first, why stop with the standards? This is why I am proud to share a Roxie first from today that truly no child should be without: her first time consuming waffles administered from a spray can.



This experience came to us as a result of a trip to our local warehouse club, a place that I admit often triggers the worst of my impulse-buy instincts. As we were cruising the refrigerated section, I just happen to notice what I thought was a three pack of bulk spray whipped cream (something I would consider buying on general principle), but instead discovered a product called the “Batter Blaster,” which was three extremely large spray dispensers of organic pancake and waffle batter shrink-wrapped together. Although one would think that the pro-organic folks would frown upon a product that shares a format with a foodstuff such as spray cheese, apparently this got the okay and was in such high demand that people need to buy canisters three at a time. Needless to say, I was intrigued.

I contemplated for a second, thinking about who would need this technology, and decided that I could hardly let Roxanne live in a world where such a product existed without having her experience it for herself. I also noted that the three-pack bore an expiration date of February, which meant, really, that this was an investment in my future. Thanks to the Batter Blaster, I would not have to trouble with milk and eggs for two whole months while we were dining on pancakes and waffles extruded magically from a can. When I used this argument on my husband, he rolled his eyes and said “at least it HAS an expiration date,” and threw it in the cart.

I can sum up our experience with the Batter Blaster this way: this was both the first time and the last time Roxie will be eating spray can waffles. Although the technology delivered, the end result was a rubbery, slightly chemical-flavored waffle that fell far short of my high expectations. This could have been due to the organic ingredients, I admit, but I think it safe to say that batter just ain’t right when it comes from a spray can. Of course, Roxie and the dog both thought these waffles were worth having, but given that they both live on a diet consisting mostly of ground up goop, I hardly trust their palates.

In the end, we did have some net gain: we achieved a proud first for the tiny daughter, and we learned to scratch this particular product off our grocery list. Now, does anyone need a bulk-sized cans of spray waffle batter? We’re down to our last two.