First Time for the Coolest Pole in Florida

After a day of rain and two days of catching some rays on our collective royal paleness, DJ, Roxie, and I decided to spend the morning at the Gulfarium – a local “marine show aquarium” housed in a bright aqua building immediately off the highway and located next to a giant nightclub/shopping complex. Although we were told by numerous advertisements for the Gulfarium that we would “find our smiles” and have “splashtastic fun,” the establishment was next to a marquee announcing “Safe Sex Mondays: All Sex Drinks Half Price!,” so our expectations were low. In fact, we were fully anticipating a crusty, yellowed tank filled with green water and housing a single surly dolphin swimming in circles – possibly with tattoos and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. But, much to our most pleasant surprise, the Gulfarium was actually pretty darn splashtastic.

We arrived just in time to do a lap around the underwater viewing windows in the dolphin tank and take our seats before viewing the first of three trained animal shows they offer – the “Dolphin Show,” the “Sea Lion Show,” and the “Multispecies Show” that features, well, dolphins AND sea lions. We were so excited to show Roxie all these things because she is really into animals and loves anything to do with water, and as any good parents, we hurried to get a front row seat. And man, what a show. They had dolphins that did flips. They had dolphins that sang. They had dolphins catching footballs. They had a guy put a fish in his mouth and the dolphins would jump and grab it. I know all this because I heard them talking about all this as I chased Roxie in circles around the perimeter of the tank. Like a proper one-and-half-year-old, she could have cared less about the stupid dolphins. Her favorite part of the show was the cool pattern on a bench we found as I was trying to forcibly carry her back to her seat.

Likewise, Roxie’s favorite part of the sea lion show was the awesome metal pole next to the tank that was covered with bolts. The sea lions walked on their flippers, balanced a ball on their nose, and did little dances, but who needs that? Roxie had definitely found the coolest pole in all of Florida. We didn’t even attempt to take her to the Multispecies show. DJ was kind enough to take her while I watched the performance and got to witness my first live all-male dolphin-sea lion interspecies kiss.

All in all, we had a lot of fun at the Gulfarium. More importantly, we were reminded of one of the key lessons of parenthood: If you give a kid a gift, the funnest part in the box it came in. Let ‘em have fun with the box. Likewise, forget the sea lion show. Have fun watching your kid discover the wonders of a bolt-covered pole.

First Time for Being Down with OPP

So this past Friday was my last day working for the proverbial man – for a while, any way – and in order to both detox and be good stewards of our dwindling funds, DJ, Roxie, and I decided we should head to the beach for a family trip while I’m still earning money from my unused vacation days. We found a pretty cheap place at Fort Walton Beach, and yesterday we excitedly hauled ourselves and our crap down here for one whole week of surf, sun, and sand.

It’s been a while since I’ve been to the beach in Florida (I think the last time was a high school spring break where we all got drunk on Zima, if that gives you some idea), and one thing I forgot about was the hilarious sights that occur between Atlanta and the Gulf coast. Unfortunately, we weren’t on the highway that features the alternating signs for strip clubs and admonishments from the Baptist church (“All Nude!” “Repent!” “All Nude!” “Repent!”), but we DID take the road that rolls through a little town called Opp, Alabama. If you, too, are of an age when you drank Zima on a high school spring break, you will already be singing the song “O.P.P.”. I’ve been singing it for two days straight. And I’m proud to say that, before this trip is over, I think Roxie will definitely be able to sing it, too.

In fact, that may be a project of ours. Because I can tell you, it’s a bit of shock to the system to go from the chaotic last days of a busy job to lazy beach world. DJ and I are highly untrained at doing nothing. Today, we got up and drank coffee on the beach, changed into our bathing suits, swam in the ocean, swam in the pool, built sandcastles, drank a beer, napped, changed into new bathing suits, swam in the ocean, swam in the pool, built more sandcastles, and watched four consecutive episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba – and discovered it was roughly 12:37 p.m. At one point, we wondered if time was moving backward. Ok, ok, it’s a wonderful problem to have, I know, but when you are showered, dressed, and ready to go to dinner at 4:30 p.m., a week at the beach can seem a bit intimidating. I have decided I must work harder to kill the brain cells that still have the urge to spreadsheet.

With that said, however, I must report a lovely first in Roxie’s life (other than being subjected to the song “O.P.P”) that has brought this trip and our new world order into sharp focus. Last night, we kept the kiddo up late so we could walk on the beach. For the first time, Roxie took off her shoes and walked under her own power to put her feet in the ocean. Now, the past week has been a stressful one: I’ve cried out of sadness. I’ve cried out of frustration. I’ve cried because I miss my mom. But last night, I got to cry because I watched my husband and Roxie stand with their feet in the ocean and expressions of absolute joy on their faces. You down with O.P.P.? Yeah, you know me.